Buh-bye 2009

Wednesday, December 30, 2009 |




It's the end of 2009! 


And I'm still bloody single! GAHHHH!


But I'm gonna ignore that fact cause it's not really important. To me. Now.


2009...just where to start...1 full year that has made me grow up more than all 17 years before this added up. Mentally, I mean, not physically. I'm still aiming for a 36C. Lol.


I started the year with working at Lucinni's, a shoe shop at The Mines. Not actually my happiest experience ever, but being able to work along with Yaw was the best thing yet. I still remember the shock and surprise feeling we had when we both got the job.


It was like facing the true, ugly face of this world. How people struggled to maintain their business, and just how ugly a boss could turn into when facing any matters involving money. The outside world would never be easy, as far as I knew by then.


After that was getting my SPM result. All was great except for that one 4B.


Then it was like everyone was on their own, separate paths. No more 'together' anymore. Friendship was even hard to maintain when we were scattered everywhere. Even Yam-cha became something very limited...But somehow we went through all that smoothly. No way we'll forget each other just because we have new friends elsewhere! 


Getting the 8TV scholarship meant the start of my college life at Segi College.  Till now I still wonder if I made a right decision by choosing a design option, and coming to this college. I guess only time will tell... at least when I graduate!


College was fantastic. Going in alone, and coming out with a bunch of friends that were always there when I needed them. 


And to think I was still worried that my college classmates would all be stuck-up kids that had too much money to spend, and looked down at me cause I didn't wear branded stuff.  (No offence, guys, I know you're all not that kind of people.*smile*)


Stress was the only word that went through with me through out my college life. To cope with all the assignments and studies, and worrying about my grades at the same time... that's something that haunts me everyday and night. And it will continue to haunt me, for at least a year more....


2 semesters have passed, and now I'm starting to worry about my near-to-come future. Australia, New Zealand..? Or stay in Malaysia? All I know is, I can't stay at home and be my mummy's kid anymore. I have to go out there and learn to live on my own!


Maybe I've really grown up. or maybe I'm just starting to look at myself in a wholly different way. All I know is, I'm starting to hate myself more and more everyday. Everyday I look at myself and see so many flaws on me. Not only my appearance, but my personality too. I come home everyday and regret doing or saying a certain thing to someone I know.


And now 2009 is almost till its end... I'd just like to apologize for all the mistakes I've done through out this year. And thank you all for coping with a person like me for such a long time. I know I may not be the nicest person on this earth, but I really treat my friends and family with all sincerity a person is allowed to have. Please give me the chance to prove that to you.


Cheers to 2009. May it pass with no regrets.


And I'm glad I get to spend the last day of 2009 with my girls. It means so much to me! 




Almost in tears (of happiness),
Shanay

2 comments:

  1. This is a vr meanigful post. :)
    Wish you a HAPPY NEW YEAR!! XD

    ReplyDelete

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