Non-leader material

Tuesday, November 17, 2009 |

Someone's not coming tomorrow. Not coming to something we've planned for ages. Not coming for something so important that it's been weighting down our heads for ages.

And now I'm in charge. SHIT.

I never was-and still not-a good leader. Not only do I prefer my own opinions over others, I tend to do things according to my own way too. I want everything to go my way, but in a group things don't go like this.

I dunno how to listen to everyone and stick with a solution that everyone is happy with. My idea won't necessary be their idea. My thoughts might not even be what they are thinking.

Then there's the arrangement of work. I can't really trust anyone else but me with the camera. I know this sounds a bit full of myself, but I really do think that I'm the one that should be handling it.

I dunno what the others are thinking. To them, could I be the one that's stealing away all the work and not letting them join in? Or the one that's not okay with anything but things done by myself?

I'm freaking scared. 

If there was a leader here, I'd be able to control myself. Cause I'm not the leader. I don't have the authority to order people around. I'm not the one who has to make the last decision. I'm crystal clear about that.

Zac I'm not angry you're going to be absent tomorrow. I'm angry cause you left me, all alone in this SCARY SITUATION!!!

Hopefully everything will go well tomorrow. A set of successful photos are worth offending others.

Fingers crossed, 

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